voldemort is stupid
by I-love-exclamation-marks-YAY
Summary: Just a random thought. What if Voldemort put part of his soul into a chocolate bar?Rating just to be safe, anyone can read it really!
1. Chapter 1

Boldymort's soul!

**A.N: Hi. Today I was talking to my friend Hannah (Barry) and we came up with this idea for what could have happened to one of Voldemort's horcruxes.**

**Disclaimer: Ok, these things are everywhere; you know it's not mine. I know it's not mine, I think it's easy to say it's not mine! **

**Warning: This is random and strange but just bare with me and review even if you think it's crap and tell me how to improve, However if I get flamed I will ignore it because in my opinion flamers should be banned, it's pointless and just lowers self esteem. THIS IS FOR FUN SO DON'T FLAME ME BECAUSE OF THE IDEA!**

It was a sunny day in London as far ass any "normal" person could tell. Nothing was out of the ordinary and the birds were singing merrily. That is until Tom Riddle walked down the street! Everyone could sense that he wasn't happy and the birds flew away, far away.

Tom, or Voldemort as he liked to be called, was on his way to the shop on the corner…A SWEET shop. Now you may think this is strange Voldemort going to a muggle sweet shop, but what you have to know is that he was going to find the last vessel to house part of his soul. He was angry because he couldn't find any artefacts to use and he had to come up with a better idea. His idea was that Harry Potter wouldn't think of him using a simple muggle chocolate bar as a horcrux. Especially because the rest of them were possessions of the founders of Hogwarts, or things that are important to history/his plan. It was the perfect crime.

As he entered the shop the attendant was picking his teeth. (AN: EWWWWW!...Sorry I'll shut up now!) He was a lanky boy, probably about 18-19, wearing jeans and a green tee-shirt, looking uninterested he told Voldy he should "look around and pick what he wanted" although it would have been more inviting if he hadn't said it in monotone! Voldy was insulted because he was dressed in his black robes and this BOY wasn't scared of him! Trying to ignore the vein in his temple he looked for the cheapest chocolate bar they had. When he found out that he had to spend 16p on a small bit of chocolate filled with cream called a "milky way" he wasn't impressed. He went to the counter and paid for it with a stupid, "thank you for shopping here." from the still bored looking boy.

Back on the street he looked for a safe place to apperate to his manor. Seeing a dark alley-way he went in and…… was cornered by a mob. All of them were wearing leather outfits and carrying guns. When Voldy was unresponsive, thy all looked stupidly stunned and Voldy hit them all with an Avada Kedavra curse. Feeling slightly better, after killing a few people, he went home and set about making it a horcrux.

When he was done he decided to put it in the safest place he could think of, the bed room of a 14 year old girl called Samantha. Samantha was 5"2 and has long, dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was, almost, always hyper and addicted to chocolate. (AN: Me!) At that moment she was typing at her computer in the front room but was tired and about to go to bed.

As she went upstairs she could tell that something was wrong, it seemed that there was an evil presence coming from her bedside table. When she went to investigate she saw a perfectly innocent looking chocolate bar lying amongst the random stuff that was always there, her homework (uncompleted and late anyway), other random books, an empty box of matchsticks mint chocolate-y thingies and 3 pens and a blue colouring pencil. When she saw the chocolate she had a hyper attack out of no-where and shouted,

"Yay! Chocolate!...Didn't I eat all of the chocolate I bought…Oh well its mine now! YAY!" literally including the exclamation marks! Getting a hold of her instinct to run in circles and shout a bit more she grabbed the bar and scoffed the whole thing in one go. (After taking off the wrapper.)

It was only after she had eaten it that she noticed that it tasted funny (bad funny, not good funny) and she felt as if her brain had gotten a sudden blast off knowledge and memories. The only thing was she couldn't make them out it was too fuzzy! Feeling slightly ill the brown haired girl went to sleep.

At that moment "Lord" Voldemort noticed that putting his soul into a 14 year olds bedroom was probably a bad idea, it took him a while to realise it because he is stupid. (All of his clever minions where away on missions so he couldn't get any advise.) Then he thought 'oh damn, if someone ate my soul it would be a bad thing'

**To Be Continued…**

**A.N: so how was it good, bad, review and I will give out GIFTS! **


	2. the discovery

The discovery!

**N: Hi all. Thanks to my 7 reviewers, 2 I got before I had to redo the first chap. All of you get the plushie of your choice + 1 item that you have always wanted. Today I thought of a new idea that I can add to this but only if I get some reviews saying I should at the bottom of the story I will tell you all what it is, so you can draw your conclusion and tell me in a nice concise way which you want, while being completely random to start with! YAY! Wow, I just realised that whenever I get the urge to type I am felling hyper!**

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**(This is my line get, used to it…Please)**

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**Story**

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The next morning as Samantha got up she had the strange urge to eat some chocolate. She jumped out of bed, did all of the usual morning activities she did every day, got dressed in some black jeans with real, plastic, diamonds on the sides, a pink tee-shirt. On the front it had a picture of a teddy with the words "I'm a teddy bear…", but on the back it says "But when aggravated, I get a bit violent" and the picture of the teddy was replaced by one of a teddy that had been ripped into pieces.

Sam didn't wear this shirt but today she felt like it, it was a gag gift from a long gone friend who went back to Singapore the year before. She got it for Sam because it was the complete opposite of how she acted, sweet and kind to all people.

'Today is Saturday,' Sam thought 'today I can ring "Barry" and find out what is going on, maybe we can go out somewhere'. So Sam picked up the phone and looked trough the names on speed dial until she found the one labelled Hannah. Quickly pushing it she waited for the ringing to stop and for Barry to pick up the phone already. She didn't have to wait long because 2 rings later a sleepy voice answered.

"Hello, Hannah speaking, who may I say is calling?"

"Hi Barry, it's me, you doing anything this morning or afternoon?"

"Oh Fred, no I don't have any plans what were you thinking?"

"Well, I woke up this morning and had the best idea ever! We should go to London today and spend the weekend with my aunty and uncle. We can just wonder around until we get bored and get some chocolate too! So, are you in?"

"Wow that sounds cool, just wait a mo' while I ask my mum."

A few seconds past before Hannah (or Barry) came back.

"YES! I can go, when did you think we would leave!" She sounded really excited.

"How about I call you after I'm done packing and meet you at mine when you get here, my call will be the signal to get your ass moving so we can leave!"

Walking back to her room, (after saying goodbye and hanging up the phone) Sam started picking up the stuff she needed for 3 days 2 nights at her aunts house. (They had Monday off so could go home that evening.)

About 1 hour and 5 mins after that both girls were ready to go. Getting in the car, Sam's granddad in the drivers seat (he had to go there anyway) they both started a long chat, to fill the boredom of a 2 hour long drive.

About half way there both girls got tired and sat reading Harry Potter, Hannah re-reading book 3, (for the 36th time) Sam re-reading book 4 (for the 47th time).

By the time the girls arrived at Sam's aunty Nick's house, it was lunch time so they decided to grab some food and have an indoor picnic with Sam's cousins, Lucy and Ellie. It was sort of fun, but Sam had a sudden thought 'Stupid children… Wait that isn't something I would say!' shaking off the thought she continued eating her muffin.

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It was a long night for Sam as she tossed and turned but still couldn't get to sleep, or get rid of the feeling that her lovely kind personality was calling people stupid for no reason. It was strange but she started to think that maybe this was what she had sensed before eating that chocolate. 'Nah… That can't be it.'

The next morning Sam/Fred and Hannah/Barry woke up because of the ear-piercing scream that shook the windows. They threw on their night gowns and ran down the stairs, as they got to the kitchen they found a large, female, European eagle owl sitting on the window ledge. Now Fred understood why her aunt had screamed, it's not every day an owl turns up!

Going over to it, Sam/Fred talked to it and, as she got closer noticed that a letter was tied to its leg. Slowly looking at the address she saw that it said "DO NOT OPEN THIS LETTER UNTILL YOU ARE ALONE!" written in big, bold green ink on the front. Thinking tat it was probably important she looked at the owl then moved away from it. As she got to about a foot away the bird took of and flew back out the window.

She ran upstairs and opened the letter slowly so that she didn't break the lovely wax seal on the back. The letter H with a lion, badger, bird and snake curled around it.  
With no grace what-so-ever I ripped apart the seal and started reading the letter inside. It said:  
_Dear Samantha/Fred Stevens,_

_You have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We shall send over a representative to see you at 2:00 pm tomorrow, his name is Harry Potter and he will explain thing to you. We are sorry for the lateness of your letter but you have only just showed any signs of magic and we are happy to get you a tutor for the beginning and as an honour of missing the first 4 years of your magical education._

_Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster._

'Oh my god' I thought, then another thought came to mind, 'this looks a bit rushed'. It was true, the writing was messy and the signature was scruffy. Oh well, might as well meet this Harry and see what's going on.

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**My idea is that either Harry falls for me or I fall for him, if you don't like either, I don't care but some of you who do can tell me which one to choose. Thankies! More gifts to reviewers. Moot On! (That is my new saying, it is not mine but I think it is cool. If you want to see where I got it from go to www. gprime. net (without the spaces) and go to flash, random pure and simple. It is so funny!)**


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